The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize