You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
