basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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