I wish I could teleport
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
