Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
