I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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