We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
