you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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