There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
