i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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