Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize