We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
