i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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