You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
