Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We have started to decorate penises.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
