I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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