man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
