I am in a vortex of obligation.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do herpes really smell.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
