Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
