physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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