so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize