She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
