I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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