I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
