you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
