College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
