End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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