so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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