I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
