Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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