Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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