I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can I color on your dick again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
