You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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