Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
