If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
