was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
