My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
