Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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