apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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