stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
