Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
