You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
