Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
