Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
