the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
