I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
