Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
