turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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