i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
