He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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