Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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