And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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