He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was born a porn star she said
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
