It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
