I wish you could order shots online.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
