She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The power of my boobs compel you
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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