Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
