You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
