Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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