She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
