Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize