Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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