I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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