Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
