..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
